When It's Not "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year"

Not feeling so joyful this holiday season? You're not alone. Sometimes, all is not calm. All is not bright. Sometimes you want to rip the damn bell away from the volunteer in the Santa costume and shove it down their throat.

I’ve been there. 

The holiday season is usually depicted as a time of boundless joy. It comes packaged with uncontainable excitement, family members laughing together around the table, actually getting along, and plenty of crackling fires and cookies to boot. For some people, this is their reality. (I’m happy for you. I really am!) But for others, this is an all too saccharine, cringe-inducing scene.

As a therapist, I often see a spike in the number of appointment requests in November, December, and January - and for good reason!

These months are undoubtedly full of hidden and not-so-hidden stressors. Some of my clients are battling increased feelings of loneliness, and they simply cannot be with their families due to the urgent need to maintain their psychological stability. Some express toxic shame at not being able to afford gifts for those they care about. Some are tortured by even the mere mention of a holiday potluck and see only a buffet of calories.

It’s ok if you don’t feel joyful.

It’s ok to say no to a party invitation.

It’s ok if you feel dread at the thought of a family gathering.

It’s ok if it’s not “the most wonderful time of the year.” 

Sometimes life is hard, and holidays don’t automatically make it better for everyone. And if they make it worse, just know you’re not alone. I can guarantee that whatever you’re feeling, someone else is feeling it too.

Take plenty of time to recharge this season. Be kind to yourself. Challenge unhelpful thoughts that lead to difficult emotions.

Relish in any small moments of wonder you may stumble upon, such as the instinctual gasp at a beautifully full moon.

Ask for help when you need it.

And by all means, make an appointment with your therapist! 🙂