The HSP Guide To Exercise You Won't Dread
Finding true joy in exercise can be a challenge, especially for those of us who are Highly Sensitive or are navigating recovery from a disordered relationship with food and our bodies. If the thought of "working out" fills you with dread, you're not alone, and there's hope for a more positive and more joyful experience.
In The HSP Guide to Exercise You Won't Dread, I'll share...
- signs of a disordered relationship with movement,
- myths to bust and Movement Mottos to live by instead,
- and tips for approaching movement in an enjoyable and HSP-friendly way.
Throughout this piece, you'll find the 💪 emoji. That means you've stumbled across an Exercise Science Tidbit! There are some pretty interesting ones sprinkled about, so be on the lookout!
Are you ready? Time to say goodbye to the dread and discomfort, and hello to a new way of moving that honors your body, mind, and sensitivity.
Is Your Relationship with Movement Healthy?
How would you describe your relationship with exercise if it were a person? Are you lovers? Frenemies? Do they boost your self-esteem or leave you feeling criticized or shamed?
What about how even just the word exercise makes you feel? And working out? Movement? These three words may elicit three very different internal responses. Take a moment to notice those now.
We're all susceptible to the brainwashing of Diet Culture to some degree or another, which not only damages our relationships with food and our bodies but also our relationship with movement, too.
Signs of a disordered relationship with exercise:
- The thought of exercise brings up dread, shame, discouragement, or guilt.
- You exercise when you're sick, injured, or exhausted, or you feel guilty when you can't.
- You have a rigid workout routine that interferes with other opportunities, or you can go weeks or longer without intentional movement.
- You use exercise to compensate for eating, as permission for eating, or as punishment for what or how much you've eaten.
- You're at the point where you dislike all physical activity.
- You feel compelled to abide by movement rules, such as choosing standing over sitting whenever possible.
- Your exercise habits feed your ego and promote a sense of superiority over others.
- If you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that exercise wouldn't change your body, you'd never do it.
If any of these signs resonate with you, you're not alone. A troubled relationship with exercise is treatable, and hope and help are available.
Movement Myths to Movement Mottos
Movement Myth: Changing my body is a good motivator for exercise.
New Movement Motto: PURSUE LOVE, NOT LOSS.
The DL: Unfortunately, the most common motivator for exercise is also the motivator that's most likely to sabotage you. 💪 Did you know that the people who are motivated primarily by weight loss end up doing the least amount of movement?
There are so many problems with using weight loss as a motivator, but here are two big ones. First, the weight loss goal (hopefully) has an endpoint, and even if you get there, you're likely to drop your routine soon after. Motivation = gone. Second, chasing weight goals usually means people gravitate toward more intense workouts, and for Highly Sensitive People, this might not be the most sustainable or enjoyable option. (More on that later.)
There are so many health benefits of exercise that you can achieve even if your weight never changes. Move your body out of love and respect for yourself, not the desire to shrink.
Movement Myth: If I'm not sweating or breathing hard, it doesn't count.
New Movement Motto: EVERYTHING COUNTS.
The DL: What do you think is generally better for someone: a 5-minute walk or a 0-minute walk? Well, yes! The 5-minute walk, of course! (Btw, this does not include people who need to prioritize rest due to weight restoration, illness, or injury recovery, etc.) 💪 Did you know that being sedentary is what's most harmful? It's not so much the lack of exercise.
When we put limits on what "counts" as exercise, we miss out on so many opportunities for joyful movement. The flaw in thinking goes like this: "Well, I don't have time to walk around the whole block, so I might as well skip it" - instead of choosing to walk halfway and back.
EVERYTHING counts, and you're allowed to feel good about every little bit of movement you do. Whether it's a 5-minute walk, a Yin yoga class, a game of fetch with your pup, or parking a little farther away than necessary, give yourself credit. You deserve it.
Movement Myth: I should/have to [insert activity] even though I hate it.
New Movement Motto: I CAN MAKE IT MORE ENJOYABLE OR CHOOSE NOT TO DO IT AT ALL.
The DL: There's a lot of "should-ing on ourselves" when it comes to exercise. This is a sign that there's shame involved in the decision to move or not. Shame can be a strong initial motivator for change, but it never lasts. There's plenty of evidence around this. Instead of shame, we can offer ourselves a compassionate choice.
There are a ton of options for how we can choose to move our bodies, and another ton of options for how we can alter those activities to make them more enjoyable. 💪 Did you know that how you feel about an activity is a better predictor of whether you'll stick with it than how you feel about the value of the activity (why you're doing it)?
Movement Myth: Exercise is a chore.
New Movement Motto: EXERCISE IS A GIFT, NOT A CHORE.
The DL: Can you imagine what would change if we looked at the things that we didn’t feel like doing as privileges rather than chores? I really loathe doing laundry. But when I frame it like this - "I get to do laundry. I actually have clothes to wash and can use this machine instead of scrubbing my clothes in the creek"...wow, what a difference.
Being able to move our bodies is a GIFT. For some, mobility is severely limited or not available at all. Choosing to see movement as a gift is not about shaming ourselves for taking things for granted. It's about having gratitude.
Movement Myth: I'm lazy if I don't work out.
New Movement Motto: REST IS NECESSARY. TIRED IS NOT THE SAME AS LAZY.
The DL: The word lazy is overused. We usually throw it around every time we have "an attack of the shoulds." But truthfully, rest is a requirement for good fitness. In fact, it's a requirement of any kind of productivity.
Exercise itself is a bit oxymoronic. It's a stressor that decreases overall stress. It's a fatiguing activity that increases your overall energy levels. The initial hurdle of getting started is challenging, indeed. It's not just you! The immediate, short-term benefits will likely not be NEARLY as profound as the long-term benefits. So rest when you need to. You're not doing anything wrong, and you're NOT being lazy.
Tips for Exercise You Can Look Forward To
First of all, give it a good name.
If you equate the word exercise with punishment, ditch it. Instead, try: Activity, Intentional Movement, Joyful Movement, Me-Time, Fitness, or simply whatever you're doing (walking, swimming, rollerskating). Your meaning of the word you're using, and your associations with it, are important. 💪 Did you know that a more positive meaning leads to higher levels of motivation?
Take time to make it more comfortable.
Highly Sensitive folks can be particularly susceptible to the irritating parts of high-intensity workouts. I'm talking about heat, sweating, chafing, bouncing breasts, and out-of-breath feelings. I get it. It's okay to make things more comfortable for yourself. It's not cheating. 💪 Did you know you can tolerate high-intensity activity better when you enjoy it and when you choose it for yourself (i.e., not doing it because you feel you "should")? Invest in that good sports bra, work out in front of a fan, or choose an indoor activity if the humidity is unbearable. And if you simply can't stand high-intensity activities, please, just don't do them. Permission granted. Always.
Let your body, not a timer or calorie counter, tell you when to stop.
Look, I get why these can be motivating for some individuals. It can also be really dangerous for others because we disconnect from our bodies' internal cues and choose external, not-at-all-personalized cues instead. Remember, everything counts. You don't have to reach a certain level or number to make movement worth it.
Nobody is judging you like you're judging you.
I promise, if you have to go into Child's Pose mid-yoga class, nobody is going to think twice about it, and they probably won't even think once. What other people think about us is none of our business anyway. We all have major Main Character Syndrome. Nobody is thinking about us as much as we're thinking about ourselves.
Find your "why."
💪 Did you know that as a motivator, "being healthy" is not specific enough to keep most folks moving? Find a reason that resonates on a more personal level. What about your health is important to you? Are you lifting to keep your bones healthy? Do you want to improve your endurance to keep up with your kid? Is yoga helping your anxiety? 💪 Interestingly enough, having too many motivations can negatively impact your overall motivation level. So choose just one or two that really resonate with you.
Focus on what felt good.
It's not uncommon for folks to criticize themselves after a workout sesh, class, or even just a walk around the block. You might have thoughts like, "Ugh, I got so winded," or "I looked so uncoordinated next to those other people," or "I should have been able to lift more weight on that last set." Talk about unmotivating. As you're wrapping up, be intentional about finding at least a few things that felt good. It can be as simple as noticing that you got yourself going even when you weren't sure you had the energy. What a win!
You Deserve a Happy Relationship With Movement
I hope this guide was helpful for you. Remember, listening to your body and choosing activities that genuinely bring you joy are key to engaging in exercise without dread and shame. As a Highly Sensitive Person, your needs may be different, and that’s perfectly fine. Embrace what feels right for you, take it one step at a time, and celebrate the little opportunities for movement.
If you're struggling with exercise addiction or compulsivity, or your relationship to movement feels fraught with pain, reach out to a qualified eating disorder therapist in your area - maybe me! You deserve it. 💕
💪 Exercise Science Tidbits brought to you by:
Segar, M. (2015). No Sweat: How the Simple Science of Motivation Can Bring You a Lifetime of Fitness. New York, AMACOM--American Management Association.
